Embrace the five hallmarks of self-centered coParenting described below. I encourage you to read more about the concepts behind these tips and why they work. The more thoroughly you understand the concepts the more effective you are going to be in taking control in a productive and successful way.

The Five Strategies of Self-Centered coParenting

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1. I will have a genuine, loving and supportive relationship with my child, regardless of what the other parent does or says.

2. I will identify the difference between what I feel like doing in reaction to the co-parent and what I need to do for my child.

3. I will make the best decision I can under the circumstances that are within my control and in the best interest of my child.

4. I commit to interact with the coParent in a positive and constructive manner that relieves stress and empowers me to do my best parenting.

5. I will take the initiative, when necessary, to manage disputes effectively in order to further the best interests of my child.

Sounds like a big job, doesn’t it?  But doesn’t this also sound like the type of parenting your child deserves? These five strategies embrace the attitudes and skills that you can model to show your child how to grow into a confident and mature adult.

Driving a wedge between you and your other coParent does nothing to accomplish your own parenting goals with your child.  Those feelings are understandable but not empowering. As Mark Twain said, “the only thing common about common sense is it’s not that common.” Use this opportunity to reconsider what you think you know and ask yourself how that has been working for you.


About Kathleen Bird

Kathleen Bird, JD is a mediator, parent educator, former judge, and family lawyer. Her book, Self-Centered Co-Parenting, is the result of her experience working with thousands of frustrated parents to find a self-empowering method for quality parenting and decision-making.