Conflict with coParents may be avoided by following certain advice. This includes the wise rule of agreeing to disagree and talking things out. If arguments are occurring with a coParent and a child is interested in learning how to diminish tension, there are tips on how to do so.

Looking at what causes conflict is the first step. This may include any of the following: the child is seeking increased independence; family is changing that may include divorce, separation, a new infant in the family, or moving; the child feels like their opinion doesn’t matter and/or she/he is not being heard; high expectations from the parent towards the child, which may be unrealistic.

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Talking it out is a good first step. Try to do so when emotions are calm and not escalated. Share feelings openly and honestly and try not to judge each other (agreeing to disagree here). Accepting the other’s point of view is key, and aiming to listen with an open ear and open mind helps. Discuss compromises and try to uphold those and other promises.

When in the heat of argument, try to take step back, take deep breaths and try to calm down before responding. Taking time to think about forgiveness and setting goals works.

There is always a little give and take in any relationship, the coParent and child is no different. Just remember that as a child, your coParents care deeply and just worry about you. Setting their minds at ease in time, may allow for more freedom.


About Lori Denman-Underhill

Lori Denman-Underhill uses the power of the press to raise awareness about endless causes. She is the Content Director for the company, coParenter.

Mothering is Lori’s top priority. She understands the importance of raising a healthy and happy child. She appreciates the opportunity to offer helpful advice to coParents as a mother and also as a preschool teacher of many years.

As a professional journalist, Lori’s work graces the pages of 20 publications, in print and online. She also attains a BA in Journalism and Sociology from the University of New Mexico and is certified in Childcare Education. For the past eight years, Lori has cared for and worked with young children. She hopes to share her endless amount of childcare knowledge with coParenter readers.