coParenting, Making it work, Need some help, Tips & Lists

Three Things for Co-Parents to Consider in 2019

Opinions matter, apologize, chill out. Take a moment to consider these three things for co-parenting in the new year! (2 min 8 sec read)

Three Things for Co-Parents to Consider in 2019

(2 min 8 sec read)

Co-parenting refers to a parenting situation where adults share the duties of parenting a child but are no longer together as a couple. This is a good general definition of the term. Co-parents may include a variety of configurations, including two mothers, two fathers, a parent with an adult sibling or grandparent, or a parent and another adult relative for it is 2019 and families come in all shapes, sizes and configurations.

As we quickly get wrapped up in 2019 and the idea of resolutions become ridiculous, let’s take a moment of Zen to focus on (what some might consider) some advanced or late-stage coParenting habits. If you’re truly ready to put kids at the center of it all, you know adult modeling is paramount. Walk the walk and talk the talk.

We realize every coParenting is different and sometimes SoloMode is the only mode but for some you can up your game to work with your ex for the sake of the kid and rebuild some trust after the break up, or you are well into post-divorce routine but feel the need to double down for the sake of the babies, take a moment to consider these three things;

  • Opinions matter. This simple but effective technique can jump-start positive communications between you and your ex. Take an issue that you don’t feel strongly about, and ask for your ex’s input, showing that you value their opinion. This is not a disingenuous act, you are simply extending an olive branch (offer of peace or reconciliation) to your coParent
  • Apologize. When you’re sorry about something, apologize and do it sincerely —even if it something that happened last year or last month. Apologizing can be a very powerful step in moving your relationship past that of adversaries.
  • Chill out. If your ex needs a little time with your child for an hour or two prior to an exchange or drop-off, graciously let it be. It’s all about what is best for your child. Remember, when you show flexibility, your ex is more likely to be flexible with you. You never know when you may need some slack.

All these actions big and small add up like deposits in the bank and will help move your relationship into a new proactive place. It’s easy to make the deposits and even easier to make withdrawals, so be generous with those deposits.

The true winner as you and you coParent move into this new phase is the kid. Regardless of your coParent configuration, the benefits from this healthier relationship is proven to foster more secure, healthier children –both mentally and physically.