Following a separation or divorce, your mind is probably buzzing. All. The. Time.
It’s making and reviewing your to-do list. It’s telling you stories about everything you experience (some true, some utter crap). It’s ruminating about the past. It’s worrying about the future. It’s labeling all that happens to you as Good, Bad, Happy, Sad. It’s trying to figure out how to write your budget. You get the picture.
Stop! At least for a few minutes, now and then, push pause. When your brain takes a break, you get a break. You have the opportunity to observe what’s going on in your life, free from judgment, stress, or labels. You have the chance to get a little grounded and remind yourself that you are important too. The real you.
Difficult to picture? Think about the last time you went to the grocery store and saw a kid there having a total meltdown. Not a temper tantrum—a meltdown. Some parents just ignore it. It’s painful to watch, right? Some parents get angry at the kid, when they are clearly tired or hungry or just need a hug. Some parents try to buy them off with a toy or treat. The point is, a little TLC is all that kid needs to regroup and get back on track.
You are that kid. Treat yourself the way you would treat that kid at the store to help yourself get back on track. How? Meditation. Coloring. Gardening. Running.
Sleeping. Mindfulness. Walking in nature. And these are just a few potential tools. You’re looking for things that bring you into the present. Not the “Oh my God my life sucks” present. The, “I need a green crayon to finish this picture” moment. The, “I need to watch where I put each footstep on this trail” present. Yes, it’s minutiae. And yes, it does help. You need to stretch yourself so you can stay flexible.