Dear Judge, The court has referred us to coParenter but I’m not sure how it will help us. I’m curious – what do judges expect in these situations?
Sincerely, Curious coParent
Dear Curious coParent:
The Family Court judge often looks at whether parents are cooperating, assuming it is safe and appropriate for parents to be in contact with each other and with their children. They want to know if you’re doing what you can to communicate about what your kids need, avoid conflict where possible, and work out issues BEFORE asking the judge to make decisions since judges know you both know your family best.
Because of this, courts often try to make sure families have access to court-based services and that they know about other options in the community. Today, with more accessible apps and websites for families, courts may make referrals to resources like coParenter to help provide you with tools to communicate and resolve issues that might come up.
As a retired judge, assuming there are no restrictions on being in contact with each other, I would want to make sure you knew about resources that could support your coParenting efforts. And thinking back to my time on the bench where I’d be seeing a lot of families every day, I’d want to make sure you had all the best tools available to you to help you with making coParenting as easy and smooth as possible. I’d also want to make sure you were able to use features like check-in to stay in touch with each other in case you are running late or to let the court know over time if there are concerns about pick-up or drop-off.