If you have found yourself living in a co-parenting situation where you carry the label as the ‘sane’ co-parent amongst the circle of friends and family, trust you are not alone. Perhaps you have strived for an amicable divorce and have strived for a post-divorce kid-focused co-parenting approach. But now you spend your evenings weighing the idea of stepping back and trying parallel parenting but still worry about how this will affect your kids or their exposure to your ex. Perhaps things have devolved and you find yourself moving throughout the day as if it is a veritable psychological/emotional minefield. No doubt, you have hit a point where you are trying to determine if it is all worth it.
There may be a part of you that wonders how you and your kid got to this place to begin with. You are dealing with a co-parent that is very different than the person you met and fell in love with. Perhaps the charismatic guy you met years ago has regressed to a narcissistic mess, or the cute organized planner gal you fell for has regressed to a disorganized mess. Over time and throughout the trials of separation and divorce they have changed and changed for the worse. It is called regression and it is not a good thing.
But here you are, in a daily drip of regressive behavior; undercutting, controlling, narcissistic, all-out revenge riddled situations playing out around every corner. First and foremost consider the impact on your child, the behavior of the regressive co-parent will serve them as a model and the inevitable manipulation will wear on them. If there are questions on your part on how to deal with these co-parenting transgressions, therapy is a really great option. Good therapy will provide clarity on what is happening, how you have got there, and the steps to improve the quality of life for you and your kids.
These sessions may give you a fresh perspective to understand how serious your situation may be. If you are using the coParenter app, you can tap GetHelp to get a coParenter professional (cP Pro) to discuss your situation. Even if your co-parent is not co-operative, you still have access to professionals that can coach you through difficult moments and you can do it from the comforts of your own home.
When your life seems to be spinning out of control you may not be able to manage the decisions and behaviors of your coParent but you can put order into your chaos by downloading coParenter.