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coParenting with a Narcissist? Me Too

Are you coParenting with a narcissist? Get some tips from a parent who has learned how to deal with narcissism from an ex.
(1 minute 50 seconds read)

coParenting with a Narcissist? Me Too

If you suspect that you are coParenting with a narcissist, you will be “surviving coParenting,” as the experience will not be cooperative. I should know. I was married to the same one twice. You will be engaging very differently than your coParent. A narcissist has such an elevated sense of self-importance and egotism that the world revolves around “them” only.

My advice is to assume that you will be doing everything with your child. Your coParent, who is the narcissist, is too focused on themselves. They might try to argue with you and manipulate you, or, on the flip side, to talk you into a situation when you agree with them on all levels. Everything is your fault, he or she will say, because narcissists believe they are perfect and they would never do anything wrong.

Here are some helpful tips that I have learned from my own experience coParenting with a narcissist.

    • Understand that not everything is your fault and just let it go. Don’t take anything personally.
    • Do not engage. Communicate with simple information. Yes and no answers.
    • Don’t try to defend yourself. Disengage when the subject of your child gets off track.
    • Keep the kids in mind, first and only.
    • Do not look for any camaraderie. Don’t expect the narcissist to be a buddy.
    • Do not look for or expect any compassion.
    • Don’t get caught in the trap of telling them more about your life. They will fish for information and then most likely will use it against you.
    • Ignore their attempts to get back together. I re-married my ex, a narcissist. It was all lies. They will always try to charm you to get back together with them. They figure you would want to get back together with them. They think, “How could she/not”?
    • Don’t buy into any of their compliments. Oh, my hair looks nice today? Okay, what time are you picking up the kid?
  • You are best to compliment a narcissist. If you make it all about them, they are more agreeable!

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