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Child-Focused coParenting 

I love this quote. “Let there be peace in my child’s life and let it begin with me.” On that note, I also say that the coParent is the wrong target. A fundamental mistake parents make when they are unable to coordinate their parenting, is to focus on things the other parent should or shouldn’t be […]

Kathleen Bird
Kathleen Bird, JD is a mediator, parent educator, former judge, and family lawyer.

I love this quote. “Let there be peace in my child’s life and let it begin with me.” On that note, I also say that the coParent is the wrong target.

A fundamental mistake parents make when they are unable to coordinate their parenting, is to focus on things the other parent should or shouldn’t be doing. It can consume all a parent’s focus and rob time and attention from parenting the child.

Cut back on the energy you are putting into making the coParent perform or relent.  A strong relationship with your child and focusing on your child’s needs is a much better use of your time and attention. A major benefit of self-centered coParenting is the time and space it creates for you to parent instead of chasing after the coParent.

A strong, positive and supportive relationship with your child is a more effective remedy than targeting the coParent for blame, domination and punishment. Your child deserves your full attention and best parenting efforts despite the behavior of the other parent.

Self-centered coParenting is about focusing on attending to your child’s needs. A self-centered coParent makes thoughtful decisions about how to accomplish parenting tasks from the viewpoint of what is best for the child.