Coaching, Judge Ellsworth (ret.), Lifestyle

2019 Resolution; Let Go

How many times have we joined gyms in the promise of improving health or set strict budgets to gain both financial constraint and freedom? (2 min 55 sec read)

Hon. Sherrill Ellsworth (RET)
Judge Ellsworth was one of the court's most respected and admired bench officers. She retired from the bench to focus on having a greater impact on today’s families by making our courts more accessible, effective, and efficient.

As we begin 2019, our thoughts naturally turn to New Year’s resolutions, those little promises we make to ourselves in hopes of positives changes. Our thoughtful review of the auld lang syne segues to our new and often renewed aspirations of bright new things to come. How many times have we joined gyms in the promise of improving health, started book clubs with the hope of being more social and well-read, or set strict budgets to gain both financial constraint and freedom?

While these are great, often times life changing aspirations if followed, consider a different resolution this year, one that will change everything in your life and positively affect your world and the lives of those with whom you associate; personal, professional, and public. Resolve to resolve. Make your resolution to be resolute. Consider an emotional detox to shed excess conflict and agitation from your life.

Resolution can mean the act of solving, answering or simplifying. It also means to go from ‘discordant’ to ‘consonant’. In other words, taking your life from being unresolved to a place of harmony.

Years ago as an adult leader at a girls’ camp, I observed a small tribe of noisy girls making their way down the mountain trail. The closer the clamor came, the clearer the dynamics of the scene unfolded. The lead “tweenager“ was triumphantly displaying a fully unfurled Spirit Flag that she had obviously “stolen” from a neighboring tent to the great dismay and protestation of the dust inducing troupe.

”That’s not fair!” they screamed in the distance.

Then they chanted, “You cheated!” as they rounded the corner. “You can’t take the flag when we are on kitchen duty!“

The cacophony of discontent peaked when the Culprit stopped abruptly, turned on her heels to face the mob, and exclamation, “build a bridge and get over it!” With the wave of her dismissive hand, she stopped her detractors slack-jawed in their tracks as she skipped down the hill waving her prize.

More often than not it is that simple, getting over it. We want to complicate it with the long story of the deep hurt and uniqueness of our situation. Let go of the discordant grudges, and allow yourself to move beyond the toxic emotionality that drains you and tinges everything around you.

Someone has offended you, just like Disney’s Elsa, “LET IT GO!!” If you have been the offender, resolve to own it then “let it go!”  You have control over whether or not you continue to clutch these poisonous pearls of toxic feelings and behaviors. Holding onto the history of hurt or continuing to beat your own stripes for poor choices you have made has cumulative negative effects on your health both physically and mentally. It also turns you from being a positive influencer into someone littered with the debris of negative ideas, emotions, and acts.

Resolution clears out the closets of your life as it reduces stress, sadness, agitation, and anxiety. The best resolution you can make and keep in 2019 is to repair (non-abusive) relationships by just letting go.

Forgive, forget, pack it up, clean it out, and set yourself free.

The result will be a newer you living in the free and present. Open yourself to new possibilities. Free to treat even those folks you aren’t crazy about with a new found respect and at minimum neutrality. Stop the dwelling and start building a bridge to a better, more present you for 2019.