“I hate going back and forth but it is the only way I can see both of my parents” – Devon, 9 year old

Transitions are a difficult time for children. Design transitions for your children in order to minimize difficulties. This can include some of the following:

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1. Preparing the children before a transition. This may include rituals both before and after the transition. It may also include sharing information with the children about what will be happening just after the transition so that they know what to look forward to. Whichever parent the children just left might call them later that day just to say hello or good night.

2. Having overlap time when both parents are together in the children’s presence. Using this time to share information or to coordinate consequences.

3. Keeping the transitions emotionally safe, i.e. free from any chance of conflict. Have a signal suggesting a time to talk later about emotional issues.

4. Providing a way for the children have access to their personal belongings from either home. Parents also need to work out a smooth clothing system. This is especially important if the transitions go through school or daycare.

5. Making the two homes similar makes transitions easier for children.

6. Asking the children what is difficult about transitions for them, to see if there is anything you can do to make them easier.

Editor’s Note: This is an excerpt taken from COPARENTING TRAINING WORKBOOK FOR SEPARATING AND SEPARATED PARENTS, written by Kenneth H. Waldon, PhD and Allan R. Koritzinsky, Esq.

To purchase a copy of this book, please click here: http://unhookedbooks.com/coparenting-workbook/


About Allan R. Koritzinsky, Esq.

Allan R. Koritzinsky is a retired partner with Foley & Lardner LLP, where he practiced in the Business Litigation & Dispute Resolution and Estates & Trusts Practices. He was also the chair of the firm’s Family Law Team. As a family law attorney representing individual clients for over 35 years, Mr. Koritzinsky focused on divorce law, alternative dispute resolution and worked with colleagues in estate and business planning. He also has experience in tax, valuation and fiduciary litigation matters.

Mr. Koritzinsky was a leading member and fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and previously served as a member of its national Board of Governors. He is a former national chair of their Arbitration Committee and a past president of the Academy’s Wisconsin chapter. Mr. Koritzinsky also has served as chair of the Dane County Bar Case Mediation Program, chair of the American Bar Association Family Law Section’s Divorce Law and Procedures Committee, and chair of the Wisconsin Bar Association’s Family Law Section. Mr. Koritzinsky was Peer Review Rated as AV® Preeminent™, the highest performance rating in Martindale-Hubbell's peer review rating system and was named a 2005 - 2008 Wisconsin Super Lawyer by Law & Politics Media, Inc. for his family law work. He was also listed in The Best Lawyers in America® for over 20 years.